Child Counseling: Gifting your Child Emotional Wellness

Most parents dream of having children who are healthy, happy and reaching their full potential. Unfortunately, there is no “hard and fast rule” on how you can help your child achieve these in life. While unconditional and nurturing love is important in supporting your child’s proper development, it isn’t enough to make them emotionally healthy, especially when they are weighed down by certain emotional conditions.

Their emotional wellness may not be “more important” than their other forms of development, but it undoubtedly plays a critical role in many aspects of their growth. It is certainly as important as their physical health as it affects their perceptions and thoughts, their responses and actions, and their feelings. It can also influence their relationships with you and the rest of the family, their peers, and their mentors. An emotionally healthy child is bound to be happier as they are more likely to enjoy a more vigorous physical health and have more stable relationships.

Unfortunately, their emotional development isn’t easy to visualize or understand. You may feel confused in the process. You may end up blaming yourself or feeling exasperated or angry for not being able to make your child behave well like the other children you know. You may resort to sterner measures, which may confuse or hurt them further. If you can sense their difficulties and you are challenged as well, it will be smart and proactive to seek the help of a mental health expert.

Understanding Children’s Emotional Health

Their emotional or mental health is an essential cornerstone of their life and overall health. It is a core aspect of their cognitive and social development that they must develop along with life skills and social skills. This means that they must have a sound emotional/mental health to be able to maximize their potential, live a rich life of positive experiences, and be someone who isn’t constrained by sadness or fears to improve themselves and be a positive factor for others.

The laying of the foundation for a sound emotional health happens early in their childhood. According to Harvard University’s Center on the Developing Child, “The early years matter because, in the first few years of life, more than 1 million new neural connections are formed every second…. These are the connections that build brain architecture – the foundation upon which all later learning, behavior, and health depend.” These connections make them highly responsive to their early experiences. This explains why adverse experiences during childhood can significantly affect their brain development or contribute to the delay in their emotional development.

There’s a host of factors that can impact their mental/emotional health and development, so it isn’t easy to fathom what’s making your child behave in the ways they do or why are they fearful, unhappy, angry, etc. Adjusting to varied situations can be more challenging if your child has an emotional condition. They can also be more vulnerable to having poor self-esteem and negative thoughts and feelings. They may also be at greater risk to perform poorly in school or have an unhealthy lifestyle.

Your Role as a Parent

You have the most important role in raising your child and you have the power to make a difference in their life. Every psychology or child development book will say that your love, care and support can spell how they would turn out to be. Just like providing them the basics for good physical health is important – healthy diet, clean home, clothes, medical care and immunizations, play, sleep and study – so are the basics for emotional wellness.

Mental Health America (MHA) shares these “basics for a child’s good mental health: unconditional love from family, self-confidence and high self-esteem, the opportunity to play with other children. encouraging teachers and supportive caretakers, safe and secure surroundings, and appropriate guidance and discipline”. It matters that you show them your affection and that you value and appreciate them. Physical gestures – hugging, kissing, coddling, playing, etc. – are most effective in telling them what words can’t say.

Despite being a nurturing parent, however, you may still have an unhappy child in your hand. This may not necessarily mean that you are a bad or ineffective parent. Your child may have special needs that you may not readily recognize. To know what “bugs” your child, it will be proactive to seek help from a professional. A trained mental health expert can assess their symptoms for the proper diagnosis of their emotional state or condition and their treatment.

Seeking Professional Help: When?

You and your family are among the first people to notice if your little one is behaving in an “unusual” manner. If your child is already attending school, you can gather feedback from the school mentors to validate your observations. If all “avenues” are merging to the same possibility, do not waste time – seek professional help with haste.

You may find yourself mentally clashing with your feelings – it isn’t always easy to accept that your child could have special needs. This is the reason why you need the professional diagnosis of a mental health professional, particularly when you can already observe warning signs. Some alarming signs to note, according to MHA are:

  • Decline in school performance
  • Poor grades despite strong efforts
  • Regular worry or anxiety
  • Repeated refusal to go to school or take part in normal children’s activities
  • Hyperactivity or fidgeting
  • Persistent nightmares
  • Persistent disobedience or aggression
  • Frequent temper tantrums
  • Depression, sadness or irritability

If your child is saddled with an emotional or behavioral condition, they may not respond to your usual parenting techniques, even they were effective for your other children. Some of the specific emotional/behavioral conditions that affect children and which may grip your child could be:

  • Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) – an attentional condition;
  • Autism – a condition that may cause their developmental delay;
  • Bipolar Disorder – a condition that may combine depression and high energy;
  • Conduct Disorder (CD), a condition that may trigger their misbehavior;
  • Depression, which has a major symptom of excessive sadness;
  • Anxiety – an emotional condition that can trigger excessive fears, panic attacks, compulsive-obsessive behaviors, etc.

The Gift of Counseling: Towards a Happy Childhood

Most children are naturally fun-loving. It is indeed distressing when your child is unhappy. You may want to pour on him/her everything you have to ensure that he/she will develop normally. If your child has an emotional/behavioral condition or issue, however, these may not be enough. It is important to pay attention to their symptoms, which could be their way of communicating with you their difficulties. It is equally important to bring in professional help, just like you would bring your child to a medical doctor when they have symptoms like fever, cough, rashes, etc.

The best form of help is a consultation with a mental health expert, specifically an independent counselor or therapist contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC (N. Main St.). Loving your child means doing the best thing for your child and not leaving to chance their emotional health. In this case, it can mean getting a diagnosis and interventions that has been expertly done by an experienced and licensed expert in the field.

It also matters that you are helped properly by a therapist contracted with CCS- Fuquay-Varina to be an empowered parent who can provide the special needs of your child. To gift your child a happy childhood and a potentially better life beyond their tender years, start with the gift of counseling to inspire him/her. Call Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC (N. Main St).

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