When Guilt Invades Your Family

Guilt is a natural human emotion. It is natural for individuals and even whole families to feel it occasionally. Parents often feel guilt when they are too busy, worrying that they aren’t spending enough quality time with their children. It is common for individuals to feel guilty when they are preoccupied with obligations and don’t spend enough time with their spouses, parents, friends etc. Unfortunately, many of us have unrealistic expectations when it comes to what can be completed in a day. Finding ways to alleviate guilt can be complicated, counseling can help.

Some guilt can be natural and healthy, however excessive guilt is a different story. Excessive guilt can be paralyzing and keep you stuck. This can leave you feeling bad about taking care of yourself and lead to physical as well as mental health concerns. Guilt can be overwhelming, but you don’t have to be held hostage by it.

The Anatomy of Guilt

Guilt happens when you feel as if you have done something wrong. This can be healthy when we in fact have done something that we view to be wrong. It can motivate us to improve our behaviors and make amends. In cases like this guilt is necessary and effective.

Unfortunately, many of us experience guilt when we have not done something “wrong”. This type of guilt can be difficult to process and let go of since we have not done something that requires a behavior change or making amends.

When guilt is experienced excessively it can almost seem to be contagious within a family unit. If you grow up seeing your parents feeling guilty often you can learn this behavior from them. When parents feel guilty all the time they can unintentionally pass that guilt on or use guilt as a motivator. An example of this is when people use “guilt trips”. This can quickly make others do what you want, however, it can also cause a lot of resentment and other problems later on.

Bearing the Weight of Guilt

Everyone makes mistakes, feeling guilt is inevitable. This feeling can be addressed, processed and you can learn to let go of it. It doesn’t need to invade your family. When guilt is excessive within your family it can lead to a lot of negative consequences, such as depression, anxiety, anger, overwhelm, and even the potential for self-harm.

Excessive guilt can also lead to panic attacks, chronic pains that have no medical explanations, and a host of stomach problems. It may also present itself in the forms of strained family dynamics, divorce, social isolation, and self-destructive activities, like substance abuse.

How to Come to Terms with Unresolved Guilt

Is there a mistake that still bothers you to this day? If it causes you sleepless nights, thinking about how it offended, hurt or harmed a family member, you could be struggling with excessive guilt. Counseling can help you to process your feelings of guilt and find healthier ways to cope. Working with a therapist can allow you a place to explore your feelings and learn healthier communication skills. You don’t have to stay stuck in guilt, it doesn’t have to fester in your family.

Guilt can be overpowering. Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC contracts with licensed therapists that know how to address guilt, helping you and your family move through it and find healthier ways to address these feelings. Call CCS today to schedule your first appointment.


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