Back to homepage

Freeing Yourself from Unhealthy Guilt

walking-dad-son

Freeing Yourself from Unhealthy Guilt

 

Parents generally have a very sincere interest to raise their children in the best way possible. Yet, parents get tired and overwhelmed too; they too have their own challenges. These are the reasons why they sometimes resort to parenting techniques that they don’t know can cause emotional issues with their children, such as false guilt.

If you have been raised by parents who use it as a tool to keep you well-behaved, there can be a good reason to look at it in a new light. One, excessive guilt is unhealthy. Two, you need to free yourself from it. Three, and if you are using it as a parenting tool, you would want to stop it so as not to distress your children any further.

 

The Effect of Parent-induced Guilt

Though unintentional, it doesn’t change the fact that the guilt caused by this parenting technique is unhealthy. Growing in an atmosphere of hypercritical upbringing, you’re bound to feel unworthy and believe that your every move is being watched. Too much parent control is, after all, the hallmark of false or excessive guilt.

According to a study by Aunola et al. (2013),”The use of guilt-inducing parenting in daily parent-child interaction causes children distress…” Thus, if a child gets a daily dose of guilt-inducing parenting, it can impact their state of emotional health, self-esteem and thinking, even beyond childhood.

 

Carrying the Guilt Beyond Childhood

Why are you still shy, indecisive and unsure now that you’re already an adult and a parent yourself? Clinical psychologist and author Patricia Farrell, PhD, says,“Timid, insecure individuals may be victims of excessive guilt and constant ‘second guessing’ of themselves and their actions.” It is a fact that the subsequent years beyond childhood cannot mask those guilt-ridden experiences you had when you were young.

This is the effect of parent-induced guilt that was used on you as a child by people you look up to as authorities – your parents or your guardians. In addition, if you have been an anxious child, or anxiety exists in the family, you are also prone to developing false guilt, long after you have left your home or childhood.

 

How to Free Yourself from Trap

When the feeling of guilt has never left you, it could be a dangerous companion all through your life. You may not have a happy adult life. You may not be able to reach your full potential, dropping in every race you join. You may quit reaching for “your stars.” If you have a child that you are raising using guilt as a tool, you may be making him/her just like yourself – trapped in unhealthy guilt.

It is not too late to break free from the bonds of guilt. Freeing yourself may not be an easy thing to do on your own. Reach out for help. Call Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC. If you can successfully break free from guilt with a therapist from CCS, you will not only be able to pursue your life and goals, you may also become a better and empowered parent for your child.

 

We can Help! Call NOW!

 

Related Articles:

Confidential / Private Sessions

Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC contracts with Licensed professional counselors/therapists/psychologists that provide a friendly, relaxed atmosphere. Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC contracts with friendly, caring therapists who assist adult individuals, couples, families, and children with resolving issues and getting back to enjoying their lives. Whether you are non-military or military, it will always been a pleasure to work with you. CCS and the independently contracted therapists are able and happy to assist active duty dependents and retired military and their families.

Serving Areas: Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC

Counties: Wake County NC

Cities: Fuquay-Varina NC, Holly Springs NC, Angier NC, Duncan NC, Chalybeate Springs NC, Feltonville NC, Garner NC, Kennebec NC, Willow Springs NC, Cokesbury NC, Holland NC, Wilbon NC

We are located at:

Carolina Counseling Services - Fuquay-Varina, NC
602 E. Academy St. Ste. 103
Fuquay-Varina, NC 27526

(919) 762-3185

How Do I Set Up my FIRST Appointment?

  • Call: (919) 762-3185 (Fastest way to schedule)
  • Text: (910) 308-3291 (Reply will be via phone)
  • Click here and use our Contact Form (You must include your phone number, because replies will only be made by telephone to ensure security/privacy)
  • Call or Text for your New Patient Appointment Anytime!
  • Appointment scheduling for NEW clients: Mon-Fri 8:30am-5:15pm
  • New client appts may be scheduled when therapists have openings, which may include daytime, evenings and weekends.
  • Established/Standing Appointments are made directly with your therapist!
  • Referrals: MOST beneficiaries do NOT need a Referral!

View the independently contracted, Caring, Licensed Therapists. Who is the Best Fit for you?

  • Kimberly Tran, PhD, HSP-P

    Specializes in: (Ages 18+) Individuals, Couples, anxiety, PTSD, trauma (adults who have experienced childhood physical, emotional and/or sexual abuse, domestic violence, Wounded Warrior) grief and loss, relationship issues, addiction, recovery, co-occuring substance abuse, couple/marital concerns, personality disorders, mood disorders.
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare (to include Tricare Prime), Medicare and cash
    Location: Fuquay-Varina, NC

  • Laura Coyle, PhD, HSP-P

    Specializes in: (Ages 3+) Children, Adolescents, Couples, Individuals, Family, anxiety, persistent sadness and depression, mood swings, responses to trauma, grief, behavioral concerns, autism spectrum disorders, attention difficulties, excessive procrastination, challenges related to physical health concerns, relational conflicts, problematic alcohol or drug use, problematic eating patterns, communication difficulties, Affirmative and Multiculturally Competent Counseling, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare (to include Tricare Prime) Medicare and cash

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Fuquay-Varina, NC

  • Teshia Utley-McKoy, MS, LPC

    Specializes in: (Ages 4+) Children, Adolescents, Individuals, Marriage and Couples counseling, Anxiety issues, Parent-child relational issues, Spirituality, Behavior Management, ADHD, ODD, PTSD Trauma, Self-Esteem, Depression, Grief and Loss, Adjustment and Transitional Issues, Coping Skills, Christian counseling.
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare (to include Tricare Prime), HSA/FSA and cash

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Fuquay-Varina, NC

  • Diane M. McKnight, MA, MSW, LMSW, LCSW, ATR

    Specializes in: (Ages 5+) Children, Teens, Adults, Couples, Trauma/PTSD, Adult Survivors of Abuse, Grief and Loss, LGBTQ Issues, Anxiety, Depression, Couples/Relationship Issues, Marriage Therapy, Major Life Transitions/Adjustments, Spirituality Issues
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare, Medicare, and cash

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Fuquay-Varina, NC

  • Shanna N. Reyes, MS, LPC, LCAS-A

    Specializes in: (Ages 4+) Children, Adolescents, Adults, Couples and Families, Immigrants/Refugees/Disaster Survivors, PTSD, Trauma, Grief and Loss, Self-Esteem issues, Coping skills, Behavioral Modification, Parenting interventions, Anxiety, Depression, Adjustment issues, Bipolar and other Mood Disorders, LGBTQIA, Substance abuse, EMDR
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare Prime/Select, Cash, HSA and FSA accepted

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Fuquay-Varina, NC

  • Rachel Macko, LCSW

    Specializes in: (Ages 18+) Adults, Individuals, Anxiety, Panic Disorder, OCD, Depression, Mood Disorders, PTSD, Trauma, Acute Stress Disorder, Chronic Pain/Health Concerns, Grief and Loss, Adjustment/Transitional Issues, Coping issues, Sleep Issues, Communication issues. Mindfulness Training and EMDR are available.
    Insurance: BCBS, Medicare, Tricare Prime/Select, Cash, HSA and FSA accepted

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Fuquay-Varina, NC
  • Sherry Horowitz, LCSW

    Specializes in: (Ages 10+) Children, Adolescents/Teens, Adults, Individuals, Couples, Families, Communication Skills, Mood Disorders, Adjustment Disorders, ADHD, Couples/Marriage Counseling, Grief and Loss, Parenting Issues, Panic Attacks, Issues Related to Military Families, Self-Esteem, Sleep Issues, Positive Behavior Modification, Eating Disorders, Anxiety or Fears, Depression, Self-esteem, Body Image Issues, Grief and loss, ADHD in girls and women
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare, Medicare, HSA/FSA and cash

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Fuquay-Varina, NC