How to Stop Going on
Family Guilt Trips

Emotions can run high in families. you may find yourself feeling guilty in relationships with your family or consciously or unconsciously engaging in “guilt tripping” yourself. Either way, guilt can be a negative emotion that can lead to a host of unpleasant feelings and thoughts.

Our Own Vulnerability to Guilt

Guilt can be a powerful influence in families because human judgment can easily be overruled by emotion. Children may never question the motives of their parents or older siblings, and couples may not doubt each other’s purpose. Thus, guilt can be sown easily among family members, and we can be vulnerable to this powerful emotion.

Unfortunately, when guilt is used as a motivator it can lead to negative feelings. While it may seemingly be for a good purpose—keeping children from fighting or getting homework done—it can have serious and lasting repercussions, particularly when it comes to children.

Motives Don’t Affect the Consequences

Parents can often use “guilt trips” on their children because it can sometimes make them more agreeable and obedient. Couples may use them when they want attention from each other. Children learn that by doing something pleasant, they can get their parents to give in. What they may not be aware of is that this kind of negative motivation can have long term negative consequences.

Without intervention, guilt can have a permanent effect on a person. Constant use of guilt can dull respect and trust in spouses and parents. Regardless of the motive, consciously using guilt again and again can create an unhealthy family dynamic. It can also lead to a number of other negative emotions: low self-esteem, inadequacy, indecisiveness, etc.

Say Goodbye to the Guilt Trips

It may not be easy to avoid scheduling a guilt trip because they are usually hidden under feelings of love and obligation. Your child or spouse does not want to hurt or offend you, nor you them. Because families often have each other’s best interest in their hearts, motives are not always questioned and utilizing guilt can lead to a lot of negativity and toxicity in relationships.

If guilt is common in your family, it is not too late to change. Even if there have been negative consequences, you can still undo the effects of guilt on your family. Don’t let your guilt become emotional baggage you have to carry for the rest of your lives. A therapist contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC, can work with your family to help you stop these guilt trips and improve family interactions by assisting in resolving personal challenges and changing interactions and behaviors that will lift the weight of guilt from everyone’s shoulders.

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