Reach Out to Bounce Back
from Hurt

“Why does it always rain more on the weekends?” Just when you thought that everything is picture-perfect, something happens to spoil your happiness. The “rain” can be a reminder that everyone can be vulnerable to frustration or hurt, or that you cannot be buffered from pain all the time. The good news is that hurt means you’re only human.

The physical pain can leave reminders in the form of scars. Emotional pain, however, leaves no physical marking because it invisible to the naked eye. This is, perhaps, what you may want to “skip.” Unfortunately, that isn’t possible because it is “part and parcel” of being alive. It is a humbling experience that teaches you valuable life lessons. It teaches resilience, patience and tolerance. It also teaches humility enabling you to reach out and seek help.

While physical wounds heal and leave a scar visible for the world to see, those of the heart remain hidden, locked, and buried. These are the deep wounds that often refuse to heal, affecting every part of our body, mind and soul.

Recognize Your Pain

Avoiding pain and pretending that you are alright won’t help. The more you try and hide it, the more it intensifies. Instead of running away from it, recognize it. Acknowledge that your hurt is real – it is the first step to healing. If loved ones and close friends urge you to ignore your hurt and move forward, they may mean well, but their advice may run counter to what you want to happen – end your hurt.  Pretending that you are okay won’t work. You must, first of all, honor your hurt by acknowledging that it is real.

Processing pain entails going through the portal of grief. It cannot be avoided; you need to feel the hurt, but must work on ending it soon enough, if not immediately. For the emotional turmoil to be released, it must first be expressed. Ridding it all from your system may occur naturally after a painful event, though, for some people grief can be protracted. Like an infected wound that you can only feel but do not see, it can cause you pain. This happens when you have the type of grief that is called “complicated grief.” Since it can be very personal, the healing process can be different for varied people. Thus, once you recognize your hurt, do the next best step. Consult a professional.

“No Man Is an Island”

When you are hurting, it is natural to avoid people in order to “lick your wounds,” so to speak. This is because isolating yourself from others is a common part of healing. Even when you are a social butterfly or not the hermit type, intense hurt can cause you to shy away from people, including family and friends. Similarly, it is natural to shift your attention to other stuff to shut off your overwhelming pain, even temporarily or for a short while. If you are longing to escape your kind of hurt for good, isolating yourself isn’t the answer.

Prolonging your isolation can only intensify your hurt. Be warned that being alone can be unhealthy in the long run. Seclusion can breathe life to old fears and monsters, so you end up blaming yourself and exacerbating your pain. It is unhealthy because hurt feeds on it. It can also leave you feeling trapped in your grief, pushing you to the verge of fear and helplessness. Without therapy or treatment, excessive hurt can increase your vulnerability to other emotional conditions, particularly depression and anxiety.

Bouncing Back Is a Natural Process

Feeling grief, disappointment and pain can be excessively weighty. Make no mistake, though, that you can recover from these emotional burdens. Why? Because adapting is an innate trait that’s built into the human system. It may not be an easy process, particularly when your burden is complicated, but it can happen. Having people supporting you is helpful. Stay conscious, nonetheless, that your hurt is unique and personalized. You cannot just move on like the other people your friends/family know. To bounce back, the real kind of help that you need comes from a behavioral health professional.

It will be easier to heal when you are assisted by a professional. He/She can help you to honor or express your hurt. You can also be guided to process your feelings and appreciate the wisdom you gained after all the struggling. Contemplating, reflecting, exploring and appreciating joy more deeply, you are bound to be more sympathetic, caring and understanding, without self-blame or censure. Contented with the thought that the hurt wasn’t a barren experience after all, you can be released from the prison that hurt has made for you.

The Healing Heart

You were not created to be alone. After becoming a “hermit” for a while, opening your door to others would be a great thing to do, being an important element in your healing. Even when your loved ones and friends cannot offer the treatment, it is good to have people around you. You need them for moral support, and not as scapegoats or someone to blame. To overcome your hurt, you need to boost your emotional strength, this is what your family and friends can provide you. It starts with forgiving.

Unfortunately, it isn’t easy to forgive yourself and those who hurt you. You must forgive to free yourself to start the process of healing, so that the bitterness and pain will dissipate. “A hurting heart takes time to heal,” says Dr. Alexandra Domelle (2018) of The Mindful Moment. Yet, healing an aching heart is not an easy thing to do. You are a big factor, and so are your family and friends. The most important form of help that can tremendously help you is the help of a counselor or a therapist.

 

Hurt: How It Can Define Your Life  

Excessive hurt in your heart can be likened to a crossroad. You decide which way you’ll go – right, left, forward or back from where you came. There are people who buckled under and refused to move forward. Do not let this happen to you. Unfortunate things may happen. Relationships may turn sour. You may not readily succeed in school, your career, marriage, or family life. Loved ones may become ill or your business may not be flourishing. You may think that life is unfair or that it awful. Yet, there is much hope.

It is not easy living with a pain in your heart, but you are lucky because you are not alone. Professional help is readily available to you. Look beyond your hurt and bounce back from it! With one call, you can be connected to Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC (N. Main St.) to schedule your first appointment.

With the help of a counselor/therapist independently contracted with CCS – Fuquay-Varina, NC (N. Main St.), defining and shaping yourself is possible. Give time to feel your hurt, and then make room for your healing. Hurting? Make the decision to let your hurt go now. Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC (N. Main St.) is here to help. Call today!

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