Wrestling with Self-Esteem Issues
as an Adult

The mirror can reflect an image that is far from perfect. Your skin isn’t glowing. You think you’re on the ‘flabby’ side. Your hair may seem disheveled. Your dissatisfied image looks back at you, reflecting a sagging self-esteem.

Outside appearance is not everything, but with poor self-image you are likely to have low self-esteem. So, you lose your confidence, sense of security and faith in yourself. Low self-esteem must not be trivialized because it can indicate another condition, such as depression, and it can also breed a string of emotional issues like self-harm, addiction, and eating disorders to name a few. It can affect how you interact with others and how you do your daily tasks. It can deepen your self-doubt and dull your ability to make decisions. It can have a profound impact on your life now and in the days, even years, to come.

Though the feeling may be difficult, stay hopeful. It is not too late to catch up on what you may have missed as a child. Counseling can turn things around. It can help you in many productive ways. With the right help, you can rediscover a lot of things about yourself, boosting your self-esteem in the process, so you stay emotionally well and content.

Plummeting Self-esteem

What is low self-esteem? Good Therapy describes it as “… the degree to which we feel confident, consider ourselves valuable, and respect ourselves, and this greatly affects our well-being.” It can range from low to high, with many varying levels in between. If you are weighed down by low self-esteem, you are bound to feel insecure and ashamed, and you are likely to self-criticize. Also, often associated with emotional conditions, such as anxiety and depression.

Negative self-image and feeling worthless can affect virtually every aspect of your life. ‘Defeat’ can become an almost natural part of life and effort, so you become used to being second-rate. It may stop you from accomplishing lofty goals in school or at work. As it can leave you feeling inadequate, you are likely to settle for the easy paths – goals that ambitious people do not get excited about.

Poor self-esteem can also usher in other emotional issues. As you interact with others at work or school and in different social settings, you may feel inadequate, pessimistic, self-doubting, and apprehensive – traits that will not help you win in the game called life. It can breed ‘guilt,’ another negative emotion, which in large doses can overwhelm you. So, you may blame yourself at every wrong turn, fault or adversity, thinking that you are the reason for it. Self-blame can further weigh you down, putting success further out of reach most of the time.

The ‘Picture’ of Low Self-esteem

You may be wondering about your self-esteem. Is it at a healthy level, or are you struggling with low self-esteem? How do you know if you already need help? With failure as a constant companion, you will most likely develop a strong sense of inadequacy, insecurity, as well as self-loathing. Hence, among the trademark symptoms are self-depreciation and negative self-talk. Comparing yourself to others is something that you often do, not confident that you have what it takes to do things right.

Low self-esteem is also marked by these experiences and conditions:

  • Codependency
  • Social anxiety
  • General anxiety
  • Shame
  • Depression
  • Inadequacy
  • Powerlessness
  • Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
  • Perfectionism

Other possible indications include:

  • Difficulty in trusting your opinions and decisions
  • Tendency to follow rather than lead
  • Constantly expecting to lose or be at the bottom
  • Apprehensive of changes and difficulties
  • Criticizing yourself, but lenient with others
  • Recurring feelings of worry and inner confusion
  • Unusual signs and symptoms, such as workaholism, over and underachieving.

The Challenge

Self-esteem starts to develop early during childhood. Adverse experiences, such as upsetting criticisms, negligence and abuse at home, disturbing life events, missing out on important developmental experiences, etc. can interfere with the evolution of self-esteem. These damaging experiences when you were young are so powerful, they can be a stumbling block in your growth to become a purposeful adult. The reinforcements can determine whether you will grow up with positivity, or pessimism.

Youngsters have different abilities when it comes to how one’s self-esteem develops and evolves. Many naturally adjust to the flow. There is, however, a small pool who struggle. This is a common experience for those who had a difficult childhood, says psychologist Dr. Ryan Howes. In a shaming environment, abused children tend to “internalize the idea that if they act out, they’re not just behaving badly, but they are bad.”

Reinforcing abusive experiences can bring a child nothing, but more negativity, seeing adverse events as permanent. They are bound to think that they are losing in life. Children with a healthy dose of self-esteem, on the other hand, see failures merely as opportunities to improve their craft or as passing setbacks from which they can pick up a lesson or two to advance in their chosen endeavor.

To rise out of the ashes of poor self-esteem or negative body-image, the change must start from believing in one’s self. Developing early in life, low self-esteem can be deeply ingrained, so that change can be very difficult, though it is possible. With a poor perspective of yourself, you may not be able to overcome low self-esteem on your own. Counseling can help.

Elevating Self-esteem with Counseling

Low self-esteem can breed many emotional issues and crisis. It can affect every fiber of life, if you allow it to. Though misfortunes in life abound, your level of self-esteem can make the difference in how you perceive them. They can only be permanent and encompassing if low self-esteem rules your life. If life was not that kind when you were young, you have the power to change that. You only need to find the right help and that can come from Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina (N. Main St.).

Your poor opinion of yourself could be unfounded, but not the poor self-esteem that is causing you such a burden in life. If self-talk and self-criticism have been going on for a long time, the root of low self-esteem can be frighteningly deep. Bolstering your self-esteem may entail ‘more work’ and time, but it can happen without a doubt. In due time, you can develop confidence and see your mistakes as temporary and as opportunities to grow into a better person. It can allow you to look at failure as a common part of life, just as success and winning.

Counseling can be the missing part of the equation in gaining a stronger sense of self, which is key to be more self-aware, assertive and self-assured. Through discovering and encouraging your sense of achievement through goal-directed forms of therapy and specific actions, you can meaningfully improve your self-esteem. This is how CCS – Fuquay-Varina (N. Main St.) can help you.

It is time to emerge from your shell. If you want to see a new you – bursting with confidence and faith in yourself – when you look in the mirror, take that courageous step now to wrestle that poor self-esteem away with counseling. Call Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina (N. Main St.) now!

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