Untangling and Resolving Issues with Family Therapy

People need their families to meet their fundamental emotional needs. The connection happens early, and it is sustained throughout life. While it is the family that one goes back to when a person encounters extremely emotional challenges, it can also be a source of tremendous stress.

Relationships, even with families, can be shaken by varying types of issues. Though this is expected in a family, it cannot be denied that family relationships are something you want to protect at all cost. Because of the great love that binds families, conflicts and issues can be too sensitive and, therefore, painful and overwhelming.

In many families, communication is an important issue. It can create misunderstanding and it can stand in the way of resolving an otherwise resolvable conflict. Therefore, good and effective communication is key to untangling and resolving issues. When conversation ceases and efforts to talk just leads to arguments and more issues, it is time to seek the help of a family therapist.

Common Family Issues and Symptoms

The idea that your family has your back – understanding, loving and supporting you unequivocally – can be cliché. Yet, those families that have gone through so much often view or think that it is too good to be true. Why? Realistically, “few families meet this expectation 100% of the time, and in some cases, a person’s family is far from ideal, associated instead with stress, misunderstanding, anger, disconnection, and unmet needs,” says Good Therapy.

Your family is unique, but it could face the same issues as other families. The specifics may vary from one family to another, but the nature can be similar. According to Good Therapy, some common issues that affect families are: “financial issues, grief, substance abuse, behavioral issues and academic concerns in children and adolescents, emotional health concerns, separation, divorce, or blended family adjustments, and chronic illness.”

How do you know external or professional help is already needed to untangle and resolve your issues? You must consider family counseling or family therapy when the following signs are observed: frequent disagreements and arguments, good and effective communication has stopped, angry outbursts, violence or physical conflict, and avoidance of family activities.

Seek help, particularly, when these manifestations and the family dynamics are already interfering with the functioning of the unit and its individual members. Sharing a household or celebrating family affairs as a unit, there may be too much tension in the air when the family is together. The proof of the issues can present themselves through recurrent conflicts, mood shifts, shifting behaviors among the younger ones, and depressive symptoms.

Cause and Effect of Family Conflict

There are as many issues as there are families several times over. The causes are varied and unique, but again, there are some common triggers for family issues. 1) Being different from each other in terms of personalities, opinions, values, beliefs, and goals, 2) financial troubles and 3) adjusting to the changes in the family circumstances (loss of income, medical predicament, divorce/separation, etc.) are the most common sources of everyday squabbling in a household.  These can be complicated by having additional members in the household, in the case of extended or blending families. Other complicating issues are emotional health issues/conditions, substance abuse, gambling problems, and bullying/harassment.

Self-growth.com shares some reasons for family conflicts: poor communication, lack of family values, lack of respect for one another, poor interpersonal skills, lack of effective role models, and unrealistic expectations. Other Situations include the following:

  • Mixed Messages – not saying what you mean
  • Sibling Rivalry – preferring one child over the other
  • Domestic Violence – witnessed by children
  • Poor Parenting Skills – over permissiveness
  • Discipline – too much or non-existent
  • Financial Problems – unemployment, over-spending, living beyond means – Keeping up with the Joneses syndrome
  • Lack of Gratitude – only calls upon God when there is a need
  • Lack of Accountability – irresponsible
  • Lack of Trust – unreliable, inconsistencies

 

How can these issues affect your family? Family conflicts and issues can impact family relationships. Distressing emotions – grief, anger, anxiety, sadness – can affect individual members’ moods, impacting on the way they relate with one another. Stress can trigger many unhealthy thoughts and feelings. All these can leave the affected one feeling alone and lonely. These can also cause them to lose sleep and appetite, feel unwell, and feel exhausted, confused and wary.

Effective Communication and Counseling

Family therapy or counseling can help in the sorting out and resolution of family issues. Primarily, it works because it targets the family communication. Effective or good family communication can raise everyone’s level of awareness or consciousness with their words and actions. Effective family communication improves the quality of the conversations and interactions, as the meanings and intentions become clearer, diminishing confusion in the process.

On the contrary, a family that has no meaningful conversations or whose communication pattern is strained or nonexistent, and hence ineffective, is likely to struggle with issues and conflict. Though these are typical in every family, too frequent disagreements and too many issues can result in any family becoming distraught and unstable. Imagine a household that’s constantly heated up, ending each conversation with shouting and arguing, even over minor issues or differences.

A family that talks is resilient. Counseling can help strengthen family ties, so it can serve its purpose or function – as a stable source of love, appreciation and support to its members – better, particularly during a crisis. With family counseling, individual family members won’t only survive upsetting events. They may also emerge from the experience unfazed and stronger as a unit. With members supporting one another, life challenges become lighter and more surmountable.

Considering the rewards of family therapy or counseling, particularly in improving communication patterns, it is something that you must not hesitate to seek when the signs warrant its integration. There will be challenges along the way, but it is nothing compared to what your family can gain from it. No issue can be big enough to splinter your family held strongly together by love and understanding, because you are talking effectively. Embrace counseling, not only in the face of challenges, but even in proactively warding off predictable future issues.

Resolve Family Issues Now  

Your family is priceless. Successes are much sweeter when shared with your family. They may not be perfect, but they can bring you so much joy. Just as they are your greatest source of happiness, they can also be a bitter source of disenchantment, one that cuts deep and lasting for a long time. To sustain your family love and ties, working on your issues and resolving them is important. Unfortunately, this isn’t an easy task for anyone. You need help. The best help is available from an experienced counselor/therapist independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC (N. Main St).

The best way to keep your most cherished relationships is by becoming proactive. The best empowering proactive tactic that you can embrace is family counseling. With the help of a trustworthy counselor independently contracted with CCS – Fuquay-Varina, NC (N. Main St), the issues and conflict in the family can be sorted out and resolved. The challenges can also be transformed into opportunities for the family to gain resilience, respect, trust, support, and understanding.

It is natural to be different from one another. Diversity is healthy in a family. In fact, it can add spice to your family life. Do not, however, let these individual differences become major family issues that interfere in your family’s harmony. Since you love your family so much, be proactive. Untangle and resolve your issues before they tear your family apart. CCS – Fuquay-Varina, NC (N. Main St) is just a call away.

Related Articles: