Away from Negativity: Exploring Parent-Child Relational Issues

The relationship between a parent and child can be a remarkable one. This relationship can also be complicated and filled with intense emotions. Family can be positive and supportive, but can also evoke negative feelings like irritation, tension, and doubt, especially as children become adults.

Parent-child relational issues can occur at any age or stage. Every relationship is unique and will present its own set of difficulties. Know that you are not alone in navigating these conflicts, therapy can help.

The Importance of the Parent-Child Relationship in a Child’s Development

The relationship between a parent and child can result in different types of attachment. Some attachment styles can be healthier than others and they are developed due to a variety of factors.

According to HelpGuide, attachment can play a large role in the development of psychological, physical, social, and emotional health. A child that has a reliable, consistent and stable relationship with their parents is more likely to have a secure foundation from which to explore and experience the world. This can help to facilitate healthy growth and development. Children often use family relationships as a model for establishing relationships with others.

On the other hand, if there is a more negative relationship between a parent and child, it can inhibit development of the child’s psychological, emotional, and even impact physical attributes. This can lead to difficulties in forming positive relationships later in life.

The Challenges Confronting Parent-Child Relationships

While it may be ideal to form a strong parent-child relationship early on, it is possible to improve your relationship at any time. It takes work to build and maintain a positive relationship. Despite the well-meaning efforts of even the most loving parents, conflicts can also occur at any time as the child goes through different stages of development. Some problems may require a different approach, parenting can be incredibly difficult, counseling can help.

Parent-child conflict can vary significantly from family to family. Some common signs that your relationship may need attention can include:

  • A pattern of disrespect often shown through disobedience and disregard for parents’ feelings and emotions.
  • Parents’ lack of trust in their children due to mistakes and dishonest behavior.
  • Lack of communication and failure to listen or understand each other. This can result in anger, resentment, and other negative emotions.
  • Codependence, which is problematic as it often leads to an unhealthy dependence.
  • Physical and verbal abuse, any type of abuse is always a warning sign.

Evaluating the State of Your Relationship with Your Child

There are several simple questions you can ask to explore the condition of a parent-child relationship:

  • Do you know who your child’s friends are? Does your child talk about them with you and what they do together?
  • Do you know your child’s likes and dislikes? What are the things that excite or frustrate your child?
  • Does your parenting follow the disciplinarian style? Does your child exhibit disrespect, disobedience, and other negative behaviors in response to discipline?
  • Is your child’s development progressing appropriately for their age?
  • Does your child show symptoms of separation anxiety, depression, and/or low self-esteem? Are you able to talk about these feelings with your child? Does your child talk about their feelings with you?

If you are feeling less than satisfied by your answers to the above questions, there may be some room for growth. It does NOT mean that you’re not a good parent. There is always room to improve and strengthen your relationship with your child.

It is also important to keep in mind that there may be other factors involved. Substance abuse, academic pressures, the loss of a loved one, divorce, and other major life events can negatively affect the parent-child relationship.

Forming a Secure Relationship with Your Child

If your child continues to display concerning behavior despite your efforts to improve your relationship, it may be beneficial to seek the help of a professional. Counseling can be helpful in repairing a damaged parent-child relationship, improving communication, and discouraging challenging behavior.

Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC, contracts independently licensed counselors who can help parents and children develop healthy relationships. Your therapist can help you to identify what may be impacting your relationship and help you both to get to where you want to be. Call CCS today to schedule an appointment.

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