The Sweet Second-time Around: How to Bring your Marriage There

Men and women are drastically different in many ways and needs. When you become a couple in this great mystery called marriage, it is not surprising why the love that was once there will deteriorate to the point where you are now considering separation or divorce. Many factors may be attributed as the specific reason why your marriage did not work. It could have been:

  • Infidelity
  • Physical separation due to work or personal choice
  • Alcohol or substance abuse
  • Psychological, emotional or behavioral issues

It is normal for any marriage to undergo good and bad times. All couples have marital problems at any point in time. Sometimes, however, a marriage may experience more low phases for a long time that couples consider separation or divorce as the easiest way out.

If you find yourself on the verge of putting an end to a marriage when there is little or no longer emotional, physical and spiritual connectedness, your memory may play tricks on you by allowing you to remember the good times you had with your spouse. Recalling the sweet occasions conveniently make you forget the painful and difficult feelings, and you long for the chance to give your marriage another shot.

There are more reasons that lead to separation, and there are equally many reasons to rekindle the flame of a lost love. How can you bring your relationship to a second term that will result in a happy ending this time around?

Reasons for Deciding to Give your Marriage another Chance

It is not always necessary that the next step for a troubled marriage will be to get a divorce. Some couples venture to look for an answer if the marriage can still be saved. In truth, there is often the desire to save the marriage and give it another chance.

Second chances are especially difficult when it comes to relationships. Contrary to the song that says love is sweeter the second time around, giving a relationship another chance is not always a guarantee that it will work out this time. If you, however, are willing to give it a try because of love, then there is nothing to lose. If you refuse to let go of your marriage, one of these reasons could be behind your decision to revive it.

  • Absence makes the heart grow fonder. You may realize what you mean to each other until you and your spouse live separately from each other. Even with distance as a barrier, there is no disconnection between the two of you.
  • Time heals pains and wounds. After some time, your negative emotions dissipate and weaken. As you reflect on what has become of your marriage, you will begin to see your role why your relationship failed. Recognizing that you could have done better is a good sign that your marriage can still be worked on.
  • Happiness is not assured outside your current marriage. You may think that things will get better anywhere else except in your current situation. You also realize that there is always a possibility that future relationships will have problems. After careful thought, you may appreciate the value of your spouse and that no one else compares to your him or her.
  • People change. People’s personality changes with age. It does not mean, however, that your marriage has to suffer because your spouse changed. While this can be a possibility, you or your spouse will continue to change later in life and find yourselves wanting to spend the rest of your life together.

The idea to restore an ailing marriage has many positive aspects. It is not only about saving a broken-hearted couple, but it is also about saving a family. Other reasons, including the painful, expensive divorce, can make a couple stay together instead of thinking about terminating their marriage.

It is certainly a feasible endeavor to make a new beginning for your marriage if you and your partner are willing to start anew with fresh insight and realistic expectations. Statistics on restored marriages show that 72 percent of reunited partners stayed together. On the other hand, if you discover that you have lost the excitement of your initial chemistry, it means the loss of a loving connection between the two of you. The decision to make your marriage work the second time around requires that you be able to see the dynamics of your relationship more objectively.

Increasing the Chances of Successfully Restoring Your Marriage

Even marriage experts acknowledge the fact that there is no way to forecast the outcome of a particular relationship. Any relationship can potentially suffer from conflict and difficulties that can cause couples to speculate if the relationship can be revived. When it comes to restoring a marriage, anything is possible. Trying to make it work again may set you up for another stint of pain and disappointment. While you have learned to better appreciate the spouse you turned away from, or believed that you have the strength to accept all possibilities, these may not be enough to make your marriage work.

If you and your partner are intent on putting the pieces back together in your marriage, then by all means give your relationship a second chance. If both of you are committed to a reconciliation, you may as well go ahead in saving your marriage. What can make it truly healthy and strong? Apart from a satisfying intimacy and enjoyable times together, a good marriage can stand on your shared values. You and your partner should value the same essentials in life so that you can get through together when things get rough.

Restoring Your Marriage and Making it Work

The decision to restore your marriage sounds easy, but you should realize it involves a large amount of work and commitment, as well as the right set of circumstances. Even if everyone around is saying you are crazy for not giving up on your marriage, you have plenty of options to make things turn favorably on your side.

If the situation is truly serious, you have the power to stop divorce dead on its track by getting appropriate help. Strengthening a committed relationship with counseling can help put your situation in a different perspective previously unseen by both you and your spouse. You do not want your rekindled relationship to start with the same old issues so you may find it beneficial to seek marriage counseling as a way to a lasting, fulfilling marriage.

Even if your spouse is totally reluctant to get counseling to heal the rift in your relationship, you still need some help to get through it all. Restoring your marriage can be a long uphill battle to win when it feels like everyone is against your decision. All you need is to follow your instinct and get help from the right fit counselor independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC (N. Main St).

Seeking the expertise and wisdom of someone well-suited to offer you the tools to rebuild a strong and intimate marriage will pay off. Call CCS – Fuquay-Varina, NC (N. Main St) to schedule your first appointment. With the help you can get, you may just find that everyone is happier as your marriage blooms. This is love the sweet second time around.

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