Self-Esteem: Back to Basics

When it comes to assessing what you are worth, the most important input is yourself. Out of all the opinions you have in life, there is nothing more valuable than the opinions you have of yourself. You must be vigilant with what you think or believe about who you are, because your criticisms upon yourself are usually the harshest and the most hurting.

Seeing value in your life and believing in yourself are signs that you have just the right level of self-esteem. On the other hand, if you have a low view of your own value and only see your negative aspects, you may be experiencing low self-esteem. Many facets of life are affected by self-esteem, which include your daily outlook on life, your studies or job, and relationships.

Feelings of frustration and misery are common when you face the world with low self-esteem, pessimism, and low self-confidence. That little red person on your shoulder whispering self-doubt and self-criticism can shrink your energy and hold you back from a happy and content life.

The Definition of Self-Esteem

The root word for “esteem” stems from the Latin word ‘aestimar,’ this means to appraise, estimate, rate, value, or weigh. If you ask psychology scholars, they will state that self-esteem is a word used to define the emotional and cognitive evaluation of your own value or importance. It calculates how much you appreciate, value or like yourself based on how you think, feel and behave toward yourself.

Self-esteem has two arms; it can either be beneficial or destructive to yourself. This is not affected by how capable or talented you are. Let us say you are very talented in a particular field. It does not always follow that you have great self-esteem. This is because self-esteem is a state of mind. It can be calculated. It can change and bend depending on the circumstance. In the same way that self-esteem can raised.

Fostering Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is not fixed; it develops as an individual ages. The influences from life experiences and learnings affect it greatly. While influence can originate from different sources and at different phases of development, self-esteem is greatly affected by the people surrounding you since you were a child. Some examples are parents, relatives and guardians. When supportive attitude is exhibited, especially during times when accomplishments are achieved, self-esteem development is soaring.

As you progress through adulthood, self-esteem continues to be molded into shape. This time, experiences outside the home, during your studies, as well as people around you – co-workers, friends, significant other and such – are your influencing factors. Based on your interactions, a unique voice develops. which can either accept or reject and criticize or reassure your self-esteem. This greatly affects your sense of security and self-respect.

Self-esteem and Emotional Well-being: What Connects Them?

While low self-esteem is not labelled as an emotional health condition by itself, the connection has been discovered between how you feel about yourself and your overall emotional wellness.

People who do not value themselves enough lack the appropriate defense mechanism when facing environmental and physiological factors, which may challenge them emotionally. A pessimistic view of oneself may lead to symptoms, signifying poor emotional health. It can even worsen the situation in certain cases. This may lead to behavioral issues, like social withdrawal and even substance abuse. Continuing without treatment can easily overwhelm the affected person, resulting in self-harm, especially when hopelessness seems like the only reality.

Sadly, low self-esteem can leave you feeling less motivated and headstrong in the presence of challenges. It can foster fear when finding help to support your emotional health. Feeling hopeless can obstruct your path toward the ‘other side of the fence’ or toward a good and content life. Low self-esteem stirs negative emotions within you, causing you to feel unworthy of love, happiness or success.

Low self-esteem is a potential threat to a healthy life since it is linked to emotional health issues and poor-quality lifestyle. Emotional health is affected by low self-esteem through following facets:

  • Substance Abuse – Research has shown that low self-esteem appearing in childhood is a trait observed in adults who abuse substances. This happens because drugs and alcohol offer temporary relief against negative emotions. As time passes, though, the relief can become an addiction with severe effects on an already deteriorating self-esteem level.
  • Poor Relationships – It is human nature to mingle with others and to create relationships that can develop themselves as a person. Negative emotions and a negative view of oneself can result from having poor relationships. Counseling can be useful in improving relationships, and therefore, self-esteem.
  • Anxiety and Depression – Low self-esteem is often observed to accompany other emotional conditions like anxiety and depression. An existing emotional condition can bring about low self-esteem. No matter what condition comes first, the combination can be potentially troublesome, as these keep going ‘round and round.’ It is important to note that low self-esteem can either be an accompanying sign or the cause of the condition.

Costs of Low Self-Esteem

A long list of undeniable costs comes with a low self-esteem. The most common ones are listed below:

  • Negative feelings – Low levels of self-esteem can foster feelings of negativity that include anger, fear, loneliness, shame, stress, and many more. It can be quite challenging to rid yourself of these negative feelings, especially if these come rushing in together.
  • Thinking you have no value – Low self-esteem causes you to feel you are worthless and small compared to others. It is common to believe that your thoughts, feelings and what you can bring to the table are of no value. This often results in isolation, shying away from help and ultimately bottling up anger.
  •  Absence of motivation – The decreased levels of self-esteem affect many aspects of life. It can quickly turn you away from experiencing the adventures of life and steer you away from activities that can boost your mood to improve your lifestyle.
  • Weakness – By empowering feelings of worthlessness, you will find it next to impossible to overcome simple obstacles that hinder you from improving.
  • Forgetting about self-care – You only have one body and unfortunately once low self-esteem starts to take over, basic activities of self-care like hygiene, sleep, exercise, diet, and nutrition are taken for granted. Physical health becomes threatened when accompanied with low self-esteem, leading to addiction and self-harm to avoid facing reality.
  • No power to change anything – Since low self-esteem causes you to think that your thoughts and actions are of no value, you begin to accumulate fear and anxiety that intensify your pain and anger.

No matter the differences and variations, individuals with low self-esteem care more likely to experience one or a combination of these negative mindsets and behavior patterns. If you observe one or more of these manifested by someone you care about, take note of these signs and symptoms of someone who truly has low self-esteem. It might be the right time to bring in professional help.

The Rainbow after the Rain

It is natural to have doubts about yourself, however, if your self-esteem has gone down so much that it has affected almost every aspect of your life immensely, it may mean you need help. If not treated, poor self-esteem can branch out and turn into a more severe form of emotional health issues.

Do not let low self-esteem shame or engulf the real you. You have the power break away from its grip on you by finding the right therapist to guide you into the healthy habit of believing in yourself again. If you are ready for this much needed help, call Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC. Request an appointment, so you can be paired with a licensed, independently contracted counselor/therapist specializing in self-esteem counseling.

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