Having a child is one of life’s major events of change. It changes and influences everything, including your routine, diet, sleep, and even your relationships. The same is true when your child/children leave home, whether to study in college, start a family, relocate to a new state for a job or go on a military deployment. When the last child leaves, adjusting to an empty house can have an impact on your emotions and day-to-day activities. That is why this phase is called “empty nest” because it can leave you with feelings just as an empty bird’s nest when the young ones fly away.

More than a range of emotions, empty nest intensifies the feelings of depression, anxiety, loneliness, and more. It is imaginable how these feelings tend to escalate during holidays. With the upcoming love event known as Valentine’s Day, how do you celebrate love and romance when you have an empty house and there is no one to come home for dinner tonight? Finding positive and healthy ways to overcome this life transition can be a big challenge but finding the right therapist who can work with you through your empty nest syndrome does not have to be.

A Phenomenon Called Empty Nest Syndrome

In its simplest definition, empty nest syndrome is the feeling of grief or loneliness when someone you love moves out of the house. It can occur at any stage of an adult’s life, such as when children of age leave home, when losing a spouse/partner to death or divorce, or when entering retirement. The void-like feeling is the result of the sudden change in one’s daily environment. That feeling of loss is called the empty nest syndrome.

The Baby Boomer generation, as the largest group of American seniors of retirement age, is inclined to experience the empty nest syndrome at any point during the twilight years – that is, if they have not yet been affected by the condition. Many situations can lead to the syndrome in both senior men and women, including:

• Menopause – Women undergo a high level of emotional stress due to hormonal and physical changes. They can grapple with empty nest syndrome as they perceive an emotional loss as if the part of being able to have children is over.

• Midlife crisis – Older adult males who are experiencing hormonal change, including a decrease in testosterone, may lose interest or unable to perform previous activities they were once active in. Undergoing this stage may result in a midlife crisis when men can experience empty nest syndrome as they struggle with loneliness and grief.

• Retirement – Seniors moving to another living environment, such as assisted living facility, senior housing, or cooperative senior apartment, are prone to develop the syndrome. The change of living environment can leave a void as they feel the loss of family, friends and community. This sudden loss can lead to depression.

As a parent, you are bound to experience the time when a loved one, especially your child/children leave the house to marry, study for college, or work in another state. It can be difficult to process the host of emotions during these events in your child’s life which, in fact, call for a celebration. While these are happy occasions, you are also feeling a deep sense of loss and loneliness or sadness that is almost close to bereavement.

The empty nest syndrome is not just an emotional response, but it is a common form of grief experienced by parents and caregivers when the children come of age and leave home. In this scenario, you find yourself alone with your spouse, or completely alone if you are a single parent. It can be especially difficult if your life totally revolved around the children and you tended to neglect your own needs. You may feel anything but positive about the situation even if the transition is for the children’s own good.

The empty nest syndrome can be as painful for many parents on several aspects and levels. Women can be particularly more affected than men considering that when children leave the home, the mothers are experiencing other significant life events, such as menopause or taking care of aging parents. Men also feel the same loss when the children leave home to set off into the world. Stay-at-home parents and those with only one child are more susceptible and the impact of the syndrome may be more significant.

The Symptoms That Cry for Help

Being separated from your loved ones is distressing and can lead to empty nest syndrome. Regardless of stresses or complications there had been while they were still around, you cannot be prepared enough when they leave. It can leave you somewhat bereft along with negative side effects on many aspects in your life, including physical, emotional and behavioral health, and relationships.

Empty nest syndrome is not an emotional health disorder, therefore there is no clinical diagnosis for it. In its own way, it is the end of a period of which you previously had a grasp on. It is, however, a real condition that can be treated with professional help. Regardless of what situation is triggering the syndrome, the symptoms accompanying it include:

• Random periods of sadness
• Sleeping problems and restlessness at night
• Crying episodes
• Loss of purpose
• Loss of interest to meet a new day
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Identity crisis
• Marital problems

If you are experiencing these symptoms, it is important to monitor their intensity and duration. Signs of depression, being the most critical thing with the syndrome, should be watched, since it can take a toll on your general well-being and leave you trapped in a negative cycle. Consider seeking assistance early, so this difficult time can be a thing of the past.

Reclaiming Your Life after Everyone Has Left

There are many social pressures every Valentine’s Day, or any holiday, that calls for celebration. Chances are good that if you are left with an empty nest it is unlikely for you to feel joyous or thankful. Whether your children left to start a new and exciting chapter in their lives, or you are grieving for your spouse, easing the symptoms of empty nest syndrome caused by a major life transition can be mitigated with counseling.

While the support of relatives and friends can be incredibly helpful during times of loss and loneliness, it may be an opportune time to improve the quality of your life with individual counseling. After many years of being a parent or caregiver for significant people, now can be the time to focus on your own self. Finding yourself alone in an empty nest marks the time for self-care to be a priority. With more privacy for yourself, you can make self discoveries to help you adjust and feel comfortable, happy and fulfilled with your newly found situation.

Rediscovering a new purpose after retirement can help to work through empty nest syndrome, there are independently contracted counselors with Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC who specialize in adjustment and transitional issues. When you call, you will be matched with the right fit therapist who will work with you to overcome the symptoms.

You have done your job as a spouse or as a parent. It is now time to enjoy life and celebrate Valentine’s Day and other holidays even if it means on your own. Contact CCS – Fuquay-Varina, NC now!

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