Grief in Children, Counseling Can Help

Excessive grief can shake a child’s emotional stability. Since they cannot always successfully express their grief verbally, they may feel confused and unsure of their emotions. They may not realize why they are in pain. They may feel helpless, not knowing how to feel better. They may release their emotions in different ways; some of these ways can be unusual and unacceptable in the eyes of adults. As they seek more parental attention, reassurance and care, they become more demanding. They may also express their grief in spurts. This means that they may just suddenly cry and then seemingly feel better in a few minutes.

Complicated Grief in Children

Releasing grief is essential to overcoming it – this is very challenging in children. This may feel overwhelming to them, negatively affecting their functioning. As grief worsens, the effects may become more complicated. Interruption in healthy development, everyday activities, and routines can occur. With that, happiness and positivity may deteriorate.

The following are possible signs and symptoms of complicated grief in children:

  • extended disinterest
  • staying “in denial” many months after the painful loss
  • continuing physical symptoms like headache and edginess
  • persistent and excessive fear
  • lingering guilt
  • continuing indifference
  • increasing resentment or irritability

What Signs Do I Watch Out for?

Typical reactions after losing someone or something may include:

  • Regressive behaviors like sucking on a thumb, wetting the bed, etc.
  • Coldness, numbness or shock
  • Irritability, clinginess and/or crying
  • Loss of ability to focus
  • Noticeable differences in patterns of daily living
  • Noticeable changes in mood
  • Aggressiveness, tantrums, hyperactivity and acting out

As stated by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), there are certain ways children express grief that may indicate a need for intervention:

  • an extended period of depression in which the child loses interest in daily activities and events
  • inability to sleep, loss of appetite, prolonged fear of being alone
  • acting much younger for an extended period
  • excessively imitating the dead person
  • repeated statements of wanting to join the dead person
  • withdrawal from friends
  • sharp drop in school performance or refusal to attend school

In more serious situations, there are also additional red flags to watch out for:

  • Chronic medical issues developing after the loss or death of a loved one
  • Behavioral concerns seen at home or reported by school officials
  • Signs of self-harm, suicidal tendencies, or cause to harm others
  • Social withdrawal
  • Loss of interest in activities and/or social interactions
  • Bad dreams or nightmares that affect their waking hours

Providing Additional Support to your Child

Although loss is an experience all people must face at one point or another in their lives, lingering grief has no place in a child’s life. Even though a painful event is not your fault, it is your responsibility as a parent or guardian to help your child recover and process their grief.

Counseling can make a world of difference when it comes to processing grief and loss. A licensed therapist, contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC can help. Therapy with an experienced counselor who is trained in age-appropriate techniques, can help your child overcome their grief and work through other negative emotions. Call CCS today to get started.