Are You Contributing to Your Child’s Feelings of Guilt?

Well-meaning intentions to teach your child a lesson may not always lead to desirable results. If you are using guilt as a tool to make your child behave, it may only help you achieve a short-term goal. If guilt is persistently used as a motivator it may impact your child in a negative way. If you are unconsciously using guilt as a tool, you may be contributing to your child’s hurt feelings and perhaps even helping to create a negative view of themselves. This, in turn, can lead them to develop false guilt that they may carry beyond childhood.

Growing Up with Excessive Guilt

Most adults experiencing excessive or false guilt can trace it back to childhood. A child raised in a hypercritical environment is likely to grow up with a hyperactive conscience. Since you play one of the most important roles in your child’s life, you have the power to help them grow into an individual who knows and makes choices based on right from wrong. The goal is generally not to have your child become a person who makes choices based primarily out of hyperactive guilt.

Guilt can present an opportunity to teach lessons to your child, such as taking responsibility for mistakes and rectifying them, motivating them to prevent similar decisions in future, or learning the difference between right and wrong, but it has to be properly used. Left to their own devices, without proper processing of their experience, your child runs the risk of growing up with excessive guilt.

Starting Early

Your parenting has so much impact on your child’s development as a person. Showing anger or withdrawing affection after they make a mistake sends a strong message that may lead your child to perceive everything they do is wrong or that they are personally not good enough. Eventually, the feeling of guilt may remain, even when there is nothing to feel guilty about.

A child who is experiencing false or excessive guilt may feel unsure most of the time, lose their interest in participating in activities, and become a hesitant underachiever. It can also make them more susceptible to depression and anxiety.

Nip Excessive Guilt

In many cases, a child’s excessive guilt is created by those they cherish and respect the most—their parents. Guilt can leave your child feeling rejected and not good enough. It can stand in the way of their success and impact their mental health.

Raising your child as a healthy individual is possible without guilt. If you call Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC, an independently contracted therapist can work with you and your child to address guilt. The best time to nip excessive guilt is when we are young. Call CCS today to get started.

Related Articles: