Is Your Child’s Anger “Normal”?

Managing and labeling emotions can be incredibly difficult for adults, it can be even more challenging for children. Expressing anger can be very hard for kids. They often don’t understand what they are feeling and are even less likely to express these feelings in a productive way. The usual responses to anger are tantrums or meltdowns. As they get older and understand their emotions better, the frequency and intensity of outbursts usually decreases.

Experiencing anger can be considered “normal”, however, you may need to take a second look at your child’s anger when the outbursts are frequent, intense, violent and/or happen for no justifiable reason. While consistent discipline can be helpful, it is equally important that you determine whether outbursts are related to something more. Therapy can help.

When Anger Becomes Concerning

Tantrums can often be expected in younger children. Their occurrence normally decreases as children reach school age, or about seven to eight years old. Regardless of age, if meltdowns and tantrums persist with intensity and frequency you may want to consult with a counselor. Without assessment or intervention, frequent anger or “anger overload” may interfere with your child’s ability to relate to other people and strain relationships at home. As they get older these behaviors may become more intense and unpredictable causing greater challenges for them.

Anger that is excessive may contribute to other negative emotions for your child. They may feel upset about not being invited to birthday parties and playdates. They may feel embarrassed when they act out at school or are called to the principal’s office. They may feel alienated or alone if other children avoid them because of their outbursts.

Can Anger Be a Symptom of Something Else?

Apart from the damaging effects of intense and frequent outbursts, anger may also be a symptom of another condition such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, and/or bipolar disorder. According to Dimitri and Janice Papolos, authors of The Bipolar Child (1999), “The rages of children with bipolar disorder are more intense and lengthy.”

In the updated DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition), other conditions that have anger as a symptom include “Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Intermittent Explosive Disorder and the new diagnosis, Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder.”

If your child exhibits frequent and intense anger it may not be a symptom of something else, however, early intervention can lead to a better outcome in most cases.

Can Counseling Help Your Child’s Anger?

Therapy can be helpful in learning to cope with and express anger effectively. A thorough assessment can help to identify your child’s unique needs and prevent their anger from affecting their development and quality of life. Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC contracts with knowledgeable and experienced therapists that can help.

Intense anger and outbursts can be draining and distressing for your child and other people around them. Help your child resolve their anger and address what might be contributing to their intense feelings. Call Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC, to schedule your first appointment.

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