Grief can impact children in a variety of ways, leaving them feeling hurt, confused or even angry. Although children can be naturally happy and positive, they can also experience grief, just like everyone else. Feelings of grief can come after losing something or someone important. They may also feel grief when they experience a separation from their parents or after a sudden disruption in their regular activities.

Grief can be exhibited in different ways. The way children express grief, however, can be different from adults. When something heartbreaking happens, there is a chance that your child’s grief can go unnoticed if you are also experiencing a loss. While grief may be difficult to recognize in children, it isn’t impossible. If you are concerned about how your child is processing a loss a trained child therapist may be of great value.

How Do You Recognize Grief in Children?

Grief can impact a child’s life in ways you cannot imagine. It can turn their lives upside down. It can deeply affect them and cause many different emotions. Depending on their age, these emotions can range from sadness to feelings of abandonment. Grief can be unpredictable in children because it does not always follow the typical stages of grief – “denial, sadness, depression, guilt, anger, and finally, relief or recovery.”

Often, a child’s reaction to loss is based on how they understand or perceive death. The intensity of the effect may differ, depending on their age and understanding.

If your child experiences a loss and you notice a change in their functioning it may be time to dig deeper. This can look like changes in sleep patterns and appetite. You may also notice that your usually outgoing child becomes more avoidant. Any behavior changes that seem out of the ordinary are worth paying attention to. You know your child better than anyone ever could.

Grief at Different Ages

Children are different, so they tend to process loss and grief differently as well. Expressions may range from emotional to cognitive and/or behavioral. Typical signs that a child may show grief emotionally include feelings of resentment, misery, confusion, desertion, and uncertainty. Without proactive guidance, it is possible that a child may grow more confused, guilty and terrified.

In older children, grief can cause temporary regression. This means that they may behave or think like a young toddler again, when their knowledge and understanding of death was still not permanent in their mind. This can be used as a means of coping with loss.

If grief goes on unprocessed, grief may cause different behavioral changes in children. Children who have a vague understanding of their loss can show emotions that may affect, not only them but those around them as well. These changes can include a quick temper, violent outbursts, differences in patterns of daily living, and never-ending questions about their departed loved ones. When experiencing grief children may begin to struggle in school, experience nightmares and act out behaviorally.

Counseling and Grief

It can be difficult to know where to turn when your child is experiencing grief, especially if you are as well. You aren’t alone, therapy can help.

Working with a trained child counselor can make a world of difference for your child and even your family as a whole. Counseling can provide a safe space to process feelings and ask questions. Therapy can be a place to learn healthy coping skills that will not only help your child process their loss but also be successful in all life areas.

Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC contracts with child therapists who can help your child move through their grief. Call CCS today to get started.