Why is my Adolescent Child Angry?

The anger that your teenager shows can be part of a passing stage, or it can be due to something more. Many parents in this situation are left wondering what to do. You may find yourself asking whether you should give them space and wait for them to resolve their troubles on their own, or step in to help them overcome what’s bothering them?

To best decide what to do, it is good for you to understand what is causing your teenager to become angry. It can be helpful to look at what might be contributing to their anger. Even though their anger may be justified, the way they are expressing it may not be acceptable.

Understanding Your Teenager

Teenage/adolescent years can be very difficult. Whether you experienced a difficult adolescence or not yourself, it is widely known and understood that this can be a confusing and hard time.

You may have been confused and overwhelmed by everything going on in your life then: academic pressures, peer pressure, intense feelings of infatuation for someone, the desire to meet parental expectations, a changing physical body, etc. Your failures may have distressed and discouraged you. Overcome by feelings you didn’t understand, you may have perceived your parents or other authority figures as the enemy and yourself as the victim. Thus, your anger may have been directed toward them at the time, just as your child may be angry with you now.

If you can recall how it was for you, you may have a better grasp of what your child is going through. Knowing your child, you may be the best judge of whether the anger is out of character or something to worry about. This can feel particularly difficult if you find yourself feeling as if you don’t know your teenager at all.

Is Teen Anger a Phase or Depression?

While it is true that anger can be related to the challenges of teen life, you may also consider the possibility that anger can be a sign of depression or another condition such as anxiety. Because of the social, academic, family, and physical challenges they face, teens are more vulnerable to depression. In a 2014 survey, an estimated 2.8 million teenagers or 11.4% of the American population experienced at least one major depressive episode in the previous year (NIMH, 2014).

Recognizing the possibility of depression can offer your child the advantage of being diagnosed and treated early. If their anger and hostility become more intense, you may not want to take a chance with their emotional health, life, and future. When depression is causing your teen anger, they need help. You may also need to accept that your approach may not be helpful any longer and could be hurting your relationship with your child. Professional screening for depression can be critical in these types of situations.

You and your child can be helped by professional counselors independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC. With their support, you can help your teenager overcome their anger and become an emotionally healthy adult. Call CCS now for your first appointment.

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