What is Overwhelm In a Relationship?

In any committed relationship you will face ups and downs. These challenges can be small and some may feel catastrophic. What can be most important is finding ways to face challenges together and come out stronger on the other side.

The support of a partner can be very powerful and can help you to stay strong in the face of a crisis. If you and your spouse aren’t getting support from each other, it can leave you feeling lonely. Challenges are inevitable, but there are ways to recognize and manage them so that your health and relationships don’t have to suffer. Finding a way to talk is important. If you have difficulty talking without hurting each other, consider counseling.

Emotional Overwhelm

Emotional overwhelm or flooding is something that you or your partner may feel when you are faced with too many challenges or changes all at the same time. Though negative changes and situations are more likely to trigger overwhelm, it isn’t unusual for positive life events to trigger it as well. If there is one person whom you expect to be there for you at this time, it would be your partner.

Unfortunately, emotional overwhelm can hijack your brain, making it difficult to see solutions. According to psychologist Dr. John Gottman, “In this state, you lose some of your capacity for rational thought”. We can easily go into fight or flight and our ability to think clearly goes out the window.

How Can Overwhelm Impact Your Relationship?

Everyone will feel overwhelmed at one time or another. If one partner feels swamped, the other can be overwhelmed too. When this happens, both of you can become oversensitive and more likely to fight. Everything can be easily misconstrued as an insult, a grievance, or an opposition—cue conflict.

Overwhelm can take your relationship to a dangerous point if you fail to recognize the signs. To avoid such a catastrophic shift in your relationship, don’t just rely on personal effort to fix matters between you. At a time like this, you can begin to find balance in your life with an effective couples counselor.

Facing Overwhelm as a Couple

When you are overwhelmed, you can get caught in a cycle of scorn and criticism, distressing thoughts and confusing feelings, defensiveness, and even the desire to bottle everything up. It can impact your self-control, empathy, and emotional self-awareness. To survive overwhelm and avoid burnout and eventual meltdown, “couples need to be able to establish strong emotional connection with each other and listen to each other’s heart.” Rebuilding and reinforcing your emotional connection is possible with the help of a licensed therapist.

Carolina Counseling Services in Fuquay-Varina, NC contracts with skilled licensed therapists. Don’t wait for emotional overwhelm to sabotage your relationship. Call CCS today to schedule your first appointment. Online counseling sessions are also available making getting the care you need and deserve easier than ever before!

Jaime Johnson Fitzpatrick LCMHCS, LCAS is one of the Owners and Vice Presidents of Carolina Counseling Services. She is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist in the State of North Carolina as well as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in State of New York. Jaime is also certified in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and utilizes various other approaches in her practice.