The death of a member of the family, especially of a child, can be considered to be one of the worst possible kinds of loss for a couple to experience. Other life-changing events such as unemployment, financial difficulties or a debilitating disease can also cause intense grief. Keeping a marriage intact in the face of grief can be a challenge even to the most loving couples.

Grief in Your Marriage

Grief can be an overwhelming feeling with a multitude of sides. It may become more complicated when experienced as a couple. While the loss may have been experienced by both you and your partner, you may find that you both have different reactions to your grief. This can be particularly difficult for those who prefer to be in control.

How one experiences grief can be a highly personal thing, no two people will experience loss in the same way. Loss can trigger a mental, spiritual and/or emotional reevaluation of individual beliefs and attitudes. You and your partner will likely have different ways of expressing your grief. You may feel sad while they may feel angry; or, you may feel intense grief for some time over the loss, while your spouse may feel anxious to return to everyday life. No matter how devoted you are as a couple, you may begin to pull away from each other to grieve alone, in search of the meaning or purpose of the loss.

Under normal circumstances, varying interests can enrich or enhance a relationship. In grief, personality traits can become exaggerated, which can eventually put an additional strain on a possibly already tense marital situation.

Finding Your Way Back to Each Other

Many types of loss can have a negative impact on your marriage. Often, your underlying need to find meaning in your loss may not be met with an answer, this may in turn lead you to direct your anger toward your partner. You may find that grief has become an unwelcome third party in your marriage.

However, not all is not lost in your relationship. Despite the strain that grief can cause, your marriage can not only survive but possibly even thrive. Though it may not be an easy process, it is highly possible. You may need the intervention of a marriage counselor in order to rebuild your relationship marred by grief.

Working through Grief Together

After suffering a devastating loss, there’s no need to go through the loss of your marriage. At a time when you’re mourning both for your loss and a strained relationship, engaging in marriage counseling may be the best way to ensure that you can overcome your grief as a couple instead of growing apart.

Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC offers the expertise to help you work through your grief successfully. Call for an appointment and allow a licensed, independently contracted therapist to help you revive your marriage and keep it healthy during difficult times. Call today to schedule your first appointment.

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• Reviving a Marriage Strained by Grief