Growing up in a large family can be an adventure. There are many opportunities for close relationships, fun, adventure…. and rivalries. Add in having a healthy marriage to the mix and it can become a real challenge. The early years of developing positive relationships between your children can be important, though daunting all at the same time. While sibling rivalry can oftentimes be expected, it can take on an unhealthy edge if left unchecked.

What is sibling rivalry?

Sibling rivalry is the feeling of competition between brothers and sisters. This may be triggered by jealousy soon after the second child is born and as the parents’ time and attention is divided (with the baby getting more). With additional children, things can get more complicated. Some sibling rivalries never get better throughout childhood, and some persist as they become adults.

What is to be gained from these conflicts?

As a parent, you’ll realize that the way you handle the conflicts between your children could kindle, rekindle or inflame conflicts. These conflicts can also teach your children valuable lessons in life. Among others, sibling rivalry can teach them about peaceful resolution of conflicts, about the need to be fair and the importance of respect in a relationship. These are skills they can use in their future relationships as they navigate through life.

How do you resolve sibling rivalry?

Possible gains, like conflict resolution skills, will not materialize without fair guidance and intervention during conflicts. In fact, without peaceful resolution or perceived fair effort on your part, sibling rivalry can breed more angst, anger and bitterness in your child’s growing years. Old feelings may still be felt, affecting the way they will relate with their siblings when they are fully grown adults.

Parenting Through Rivalry

Most parents try their best to love and care for their children equally, though not every parent feels like they are successful. Your child may feel more jealous, angry or hurt when they have perceived themselves to have been treated unfairly. In order to be a fair mediator to your children, you may need help.

To parent at your best, you need certain skills critical in the fair and peaceful resolution of conflicts between your children. These are skills that you can learn with Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC. Here, you’ll be matched with an experienced and licensed contracted therapist. Your children may also benefit from counseling so they can improve their communication and conflict resolution skills. Call today and schedule your first appointment.

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