Are Your Expectations Realistic This Holiday Season?

If the idea of setting realistic expectations sounds a whole lot like lowering your expectations, you aren’t alone. Many adults feel that way, including myself. Unfortunately, the more we engage in this kind of unhealthy thinking the harder it is to be reasonable with expectations and enjoy the holidays!

Are You Stuck in Cognitive Distortions? 

Cognitive distortions are thought patterns that are not based on facts, they tend to make us feel more negatively and can even lead to depression and anxiety. This type of thinking often happens in conjunction with depression and anxiety as well, sounds like a vicious cycle huh? 

Types of cognitive distortions can include; 

  • All or nothing thinking
  • Jumping to conclusions
  • Personalization (it’s all my fault)
  • Shoulds
  • Mental filter (only focusing on the negative)
  • Overgeneralizing
  • Magnification and minimization (magnifying the negative and downplaying the positive)
  • Fortune telling
  • Comparison
  • Catastrophizing 
  • Labeling (name calling or “I’m an anxious person”)
  • Disqualifying the positive

If you find yourself reading this list and thinking “I do that, and that, and that….” you are in good company. Everyone engages in these types of thinking from time to time. It becomes problematic when you think in these ways more often than not. The good news is that therapy can help you take a look at your “stinkin thinkin” and find healthier perspectives.  

Unrealistic Holiday Expectations

These distorted thought patterns can happen any day of the year, however, they tend to take on a life of their own during the holidays. These ways of thinking can play into our creations and continuation of unrealistic expectations that lead to us feeling let down, frustrated and resentful. 

Some examples of unrealistic expectations during the holiday season can sound like: 

  1. There’s a perfect gift for everyone
  2. Everyone has to get along 
  3. Your angry family member will be happy during the holidays
  4. You will have time to see everyone
  5. You can buy a gift for everyone
  6. Everyone will pitch in without being asked

While everyone wants to believe in the magic of the season, we can only control what we are responsible for. Focusing on this can help you to create expectations that you have control over. You deserve to enjoy the holidays, realistic expectations can help with that. 

Becoming More Real When It Comes to Expectations

Challenging and reframing unrealistic expectations is really, really difficult. Counseling can make it a little easier. Carolina Counseling Services contracts with exceptional licensed therapists who know how to tackle cognitive distortions. CCS also contracts with licensed prescribers that can take a look at any mental health symptoms you are experiencing and make recommendations for psychiatric medications that can help. 

Your mental health matters every day, the holiday season is no exception. If you are looking for quality mental health care in Fuquay-Varina, North Carolina, reach out to CCS to get started! 

Providers are in network with most major insurances including Aetna, Aetna State Health Plan, Blue Cross and Blue Shield of North Carolina (Blue Cross NC), Tricare, Medicaid and many more. Treatment is available to surrounding areas as well such as Garner, Clayton, Raleigh, Zebulon, Wendell, etc. Online appointments are also available making getting quality mental health treatment anywhere in North Carolina easier than ever before!

Jaime Johnson Fitzpatrick LCMHCS, LCAS is one of the Owners and Vice Presidents of Carolina Counseling Services. She is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist in the State of North Carolina as well as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in State of New York. Jaime is also certified in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and utilizes various other approaches in her practice.