You have finally retired. This may be a day you have eagerly looked forward to because it may mean being able to live a normal life as a civilian. It may mean being able to spend time with your loved ones. It may mean no more worrying about the risks of war, being deployed or moving yet to another base.

However, the transition to a civilian life may be different from what you expected; it can have its own challenges that may require you to readjust, reconnect and reintegrate. This may not come easy to your family either. You don’t have to struggle on your own. You can reach out for understanding and support.

Caught Between Two Cultures

Moving back to civilian life can be an experience most similar to entering the military. You may feel caught between two cultures – the vaguely familiar civilian life and the even more familiar military life. This time around, you are leaving the order and structure of the military life to return to the civilian life you may have once had. The transition may give you uncomfortable feelings, it can seem different, possibly causing you to feel exposed or even unstable.

The Home and Community

Family members may be used to doing things without you. Your spouse and children may pursue their lives like you are not there, not because they disrespect you or you are not important to them, but possibly because they may have become accustomed to not having you present. It may be the same case outside of your home. You may not understand the “rules of the game” or have difficulty “blending in” possibly due to the transitions you are making. You may also notice that others are not fully able to relate to you in turn.

Focusing on your slighted feelings, or on other’s hurts can cause misunderstandings and even conflicts. To resolve issues and save your relationships, you may want to work on readjusting, reconnecting and reintegrating.

Taking the Next Step: Readjusting, Reconnecting, and Reintegrating

Despite the imposed order, structure and the risks inherent to the military, you may have grown accustomed to them. In transitioning back to civilian life, you may unconsciously look for those factors that previously defined your former life. To make the transition, you may find yourself needing to readjust and respond differently to your new environment. By reconnecting you may be able to restore and resume your old roles and create new ones with little conflict. Reintegrating can help you to better fit into your family’s structure and into the community as a whole more smoothly.

Despite supportive family and friends, going through all these processes – readjusting, reconnecting and reintegrating – may not be easy. If these transitions are getting in the way of you having a happy civilian life you may want to reach out and consult with a professional. Call Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC. Licensed, independently contracted therapists are looking forward to teaming with you to win this battle long after the last bullet has been fired, and to assist you in feeling as if “you are truly home.”

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• Reintegration: The Next Big Hurdle to Overcome After a Deployment