Most couples tie the knot while they’re in love and see everything through “rose-tinted glasses.” While the statistics of marriages ending in separation or divorce are a reality that can’t be ignored, most like to believe theirs will be different—and it can be, if you stay proactive and work on it through the years.

While love is an important ingredient in a marriage, it can be rocked by family, social, and economic factors as well as a host of other challenges. How can you rise above the challenges? This is where marriage counseling can help.

Here are seven signs that you need the help of a marriage counselor:

Sign 1: You are not talking, or when you talk, it is always negative.

Talking is an important element of any relationship. All marriages experience issues (both major problems and petty everyday matters) that must be resolved principally by talking. The breakdown of most marriages usually starts with a collapse in communication. Shouting and abusive verbal exchanges may also complicate your family life if you have children who are thrown into the center of your arguments.

You can nip these issues in the bud by seeking professional help. A counselor can help facilitate communication between you and your spouse.

Sign 2: The issues you argue about are always the same.

Arguing over and bringing up the same issues again and again is a sign that they are unresolved. If the concerns are important to your marriage or family, they must be resolved—the sooner, the better.

If you don’t believe you can resolve them alone in the near future, it is best to seek counseling to save you from more arguments and pain.

Sign 3: You are keeping secrets from each other.

While you have a right to privacy and you do not need to sacrifice your individuality once you get married, there are things that you must not keep from your spouse. Keeping secrets about important things like money matters or relationships is a sign that something is off.

A counselor, as an unbiased professional, can help you explore what may be causing either of you to guard such secrets.

Sign 4: Your intimacy has deteriorated or suddenly become overactive.

If your physical relationship has significantly shifted so that you share fewer romantic and intimate moments, it can be a signal that your relationship has deteriorated. Leaving the bedroom to avoid further intimacy is not a good sign. A sudden change in the passion of one spouse may also indicate that something is not right.

A skilled counselor can help you sort out your issues and motives. Don’t wait too long to resolve the concerns affecting your union.

Sign 5: Clashing parenting styles that lead to family disagreements.

Loving your children doesn’t change the fact that day-to-day parenting can be very stressful, and disagreements over children are another domestic issue that can further complicate your marriage.

Before parenting becomes a major or persistent issue, seek the assistance of a marriage counselor. If you are differently raised or come from families with different beliefs, counseling can help to resolve conflicts in this area.

Sign 6: Disagreements over finances.

Money matters can be very stressful and can seriously affect your marital relationship in many ways. They are among the top reasons for couples’ conflicts and arguments. If one of you has an urge to control finances or a tendency to keep the other in the dark about income or expenses, it is time to speak to a counselor.

If you can’t compromise on financial decisions without conflict, bring in a counselor to help you find neutral ground concerning money.

Sign 7: Wanting to make your marriage work because you still both love each other.

If your love is strong and you both want to stay together, but you don’t know how you can resolve your issues without hurting each other, consider seeking help from a counselor. It is normal for marriages to experience issues, but you need to work on your marriage before they escalate to a level where love is not enough to save your union.

It takes not only love, but resilience and a lot more to stay together in a happy marriage. However, you have a good chance at succeeding with a counselor to help.

The Marriage Counseling That Matters

Are any of these signs present in your marriage? Are your marriage and family priorities for you? Call Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC, as a proactive solution. CCS independently contracts counselors who can help you work on your marriage. Since most insurance covers family counseling, it won’t cost you much to seek marriage counseling from CCS, particularly if your marital concerns are complicated by other emotional and behavioral issues such as anxiety, mood swings, or depression.

Resolving marital troubles can make your home a haven of harmony, peace, love, and fun again. Visit the other pages in this section to broaden your understanding of marriage counseling. If you are proactively working on your marriage, don’t wait too long before calling CCS. Your marriage will be best served if you call sooner rather than later.

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• Marriage Counseling: Seven Reasons to Seek It Out
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