Marital Conflicts: Are they Affecting the Rest of your Family?

No matter how a couple loves each other, marital conflict is bound to arise. After all, when two people with different background, attitude and principles live together, differences of opinion can be expected. Conflict does not necessarily mean that a marriage is in trouble. Conflict can be a normal part of any relationship, and expressing one’s opinion can be a means of resolving an issue.

Despite the normalcy of conflict in a relationship, not all marital conflicts are created equal. Depending on the manner in which marital concerns are expressed, they can impact a couple’s children’s adjustment and development in relation to other dimensions within and outside the family context.

How Marital Conflicts Can Affect Children

The frequency and intensity of marital conflicts can have a direct effect on the level of stability for children in the home. Numerous studies have shown that children raised by couples who frequently argue have conduct problems, insecurities, issues with anger and/or experience academic difficulties. The intensity of arguments has been linked to higher levels of behavioral problems in children.

There may be little difference in the impact on children in relation to whether the arguments are witnessed by the children or whether the arguments occur in private. It can be possible that just hearing the subject of the disagreement can bring about high level of shame, fear of being dragged into the conflict and/or self-blame in the couple’s children. In fact, a number of studies have indicated situations in which parents will triangulate the issues with the children for the purpose of finding an ally against the other parent.

For the children, it can matter how the disagreements are resolved. A conflict with a high degree of resolution can greatly reduce distress levels in children, while an increase in their anger can be associated with unresolved conflicts. Children may be less likely to develop adequate interpersonal skills when their parents are seldom agreeing or modeling effective conflict management skills.

Ending Marital Conflicts on a Happy Note

Marital conflict, if not handled well, can reach the point when both you and your partner can be profoundly disappointed. You may even ask if you still want to remain married to a person who upsets you with intense arguments. It can be unsettling, and too often marital conflicts can progress from bad to worse.

If your marital conflicts are already beginning to affect your children, it may not be too late to change the course of your marriage and reroute in a more positive direction. You and your spouse may have the ability to make this happen. The likelihood of improving your marriage can may be increased exponentially by engaging in couples counseling to help restore the healthy aspects of your marriage.

Licensed, independently contracted therapists with special training and successful experiences in couple therapy are available. Therapy may be the kind of help you need to rebuild your relationship and even learn how to argue more effectively. Call the Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC office now to request an appointment. Don’t’ delay, begin to create an environment where you and your children can grow emotionally and psychologically healthy.

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