How to Live Free from Family Guilt

Do you feel guilty when you can’t be there to attend to your child’s needs? Are you guilt-ridden about hurting your parents or siblings in the past-even after you have done your best to make amends? When you cannot visit your elderly parents as often as you want, do you feel overly burdened with guilt?

If you grew up in a family ruled by guilt, it may constantly trouble you, even outside your home. If you want to be happy and pursue your dreams, overcoming excessive guilt is important. If you are wondering how can you live a life free from unnecessary guilt, you aren’t alone. 

Guilt, Love, and Family

False guilt is one of the worst feelings you can experience. It can keep you from feeling positive, successful, and happy. What many people don’t realize is that guilt can be significantly strengthened by family interactions and relationships. Bound by love, families can unknowingly perpetuate it.

Out of their great love, parents might do anything to ensure that their children get what they deserve, and children push themselves to the limit to please their parents. When people use guilt to get what they want from family members, they are not usually aware that they are using it or that they are nurturing false guilt, which can eventually make their loved one live in excessive guilt and shame- for no reason.

Growing Guilt through the Years

Many parents find themselves using guilt as a parenting tool, unaware that guilt can breed negative emotions and a stunted life in the long run. What they see is that it can bring about positive behaviors, such as responsibility and empathy, and immediate results that are perceived to be positive.

Most young children want to please their parents, and guilt can make them behave and be “good children” as their parents define it. While no “punishment” is used to discipline them, children are molded to do things because of guilt.

Unfortunately, guilt may not stop growing once it becomes part of the family culture. It can go on until the children become adults and parents themselves—and the cycle continues.

Freeing Yourself from False Guilt

If you carry false guilt that makes you feel unworthy and indecisive, it can deter you from pursuing your dreams and becoming the accomplished person you want to be. It may also make you a parent who unconsciously uses guilt as a parenting tool.

It is not too late for you or your family. You can sever the cycle of family guilt by choosing to do something different. Counseling can help you to let go of unnecessary guilt and find new ways to move forward. CCS contracts licensed counselors and therapists who know how to combat guilt and find healthier ways. Call Carolina Counseling Services- Fuquay-Varina today to schedule your first appointment. Online counseling and in person sessions are available.

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