Healing from Family Grief
People are generally influenced by their interactions with their loved ones throughout life. This interaction helps organize and establish your identity not only within the family, but in the community as well. It is, therefore, common and natural that the loss of loved one causes pain to not only to the entire family, but to each individual.
It is understandable to grieve when a person who meant a lot to you passes. It can mean the absence of a reliable relationship and can impel you to search for alternative guides to help you understand the impact of the situation to yourself and others.
Often, your basic ability to interpret and define events, feelings, and meanings may not help as you confront your new life experiences without the deceased loved one around. Thus, your emotional pain grows from grief to an uncertainty about yourself, the future, and life as a whole. In these times, the safe and loving support from other family members is crucial to find healing through these painful changes in a healthy way.
Saying Goodbye to Someone You Love
Experiencing the loss of a loved one can be one of the most devastating events in life. While death is inevitable, the range of emotions can still be very intense and heartbreaking. The loss you feel can result in your being in a state of deep grief. Through the anguish, however, grief may be necessary to help you accept the new change and to heal. Grief can be the catalyst for a renewed sense of meaning in finding new purpose and direction in life.
Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult. However, you would not give up the love you felt to avoid the grief that comes from losing him or her. Because of that love that you cannot really expect to completely overcome the pain felt in losing them. When you start enjoying life again, it doesn’t mean you no longer missing that person. Nor is it betraying that love when you can piece your shattered emotions together again. It simply means that your grief has subsided.
The Upside-Down World of a Family in Grief
Family members often express themselves in different ways even if they share the same grief. Each unique reaction depends on several factors, such as the kind of relationship you had with the person, the circumstances of death, and individual personality. Grief can either draw families closer together, or it can pull them apart.
Grief can throw your family in a state of chaos. It can challenge your beliefs, alter roles and responsibilities, disrupt your routines, affect relationships, and put your life in turmoil. Further complicating matters is the different ways in which people grieve. Grief in children varies by age and depends how socially and emotionally developed they are. Some may verbalize their sadness, while others may withdraw or complain of physical discomfort as symptoms of anxiety or distress about the painful life event. Failure to understand and accept the different ways family members express grief may result to misunderstanding, hurt feelings, and conflict; during a difficult time when the support and care of everyone is most needed.
Regardless of how one mourns, it is important to remember that there is no right way to express grief or a timetable for it. Knowing that every member confronts grief differently from one another can help you understand and even respond to their needs better during this crucial period.
Taking the Path to Healing
The many effects wrought by the death of a loved one can be shattering. Although the stages of grief may take time, healing and moving forward is possible no matter how painful the loss may be. It may take years for a spouse to adjust to the loss of a partner, while children may process the grief of losing a parent in spurts over a period of years.
Soon after losing a loved one, you may experience a roller coaster of emotions, ranging from shock, guilt, anger, denial, loneliness, or depression. This can mean grief is in progress. People outside the family circle may not understand what you are going through, and feel that you should “shake it off” and rejoin the world. Know that your emotions are expected at this time to help you face such outside pressures.
Grief can take a toll on you and other family members physically, emotionally and spiritually. While feeling the stress, it is important to take care of your body and spend time with others who can understand. Once you have come to terms with the loss of a loved one, you can eventually overcome the emotional upheaval of these trying times and find yourself looking to the future with renewed hope. If, however, the amount of negative emotions is increasingly becoming unbearable for you and your family because of your
grief and loss, what you can do now is seek the counsel of an experienced professional.
Beginning the Journey of Healing in Your Family
People will face death and loss at one time or another. While bereavement is focused around the pain felt by an individual, grief occurs within the context of social relationships. Though the emotions caused by grief are highly personal, families can still reach out and support each member despite their different ways of grieving. Families who can do so are more likely to heal more effectively, individually and as whole family.
While human beings can be naturally resilient and continue living while enduring loss, some people in mourning can lose focus, energy, or flexibility while experiencing grief. Some may struggle much longer and become impaired in their daily functioning. Due to this difficulty, the degree of one’s availability to others can be reduced, often making it hard for family members to support one another.
If you or a family member is experiencing complications as a result of grief, reach out to a licensed counselor independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Fuquay-Varina, NC to benefit from
what therapy can really do to help you and your family. When you call you will be matched with the right fit professional with training and experience in helping people like you to better address the fear, guilt, anxiety, and other intense feelings associated with grief and loss. Contact CCS – Fuquay-Varina, NC today!
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